Where is the effort?

Perennial WoMo debate… how tough should you be on your kids? I think parents who try and be their kids best friend and shy away from tough messages are missing the point that part of the job of being a good parent is to set boundaries, to influence behaviour (and call out bad behaviour) and to be a good role model. Its not a popularity contest and to some extent I do think "you have to be cruel to be kind".

A friend sent me this list and I think its bang on. Far too often I see parents making excuses for their kids. As the picture says – these things require zero talent. What they do require though is effort, and that’s a different thing altogether. Encouraging your kids to put maximum effort into everything they do is I think a real life lesson. As adults we know that life is full of trials and tribulations and that not everything comes easily. Some of what we achieve in our working lives may be down to talent, but more often its probably a combination of a modicum of talent, a lot of effort and persistence on top!
 

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So I think it's important to get our kids to understand that… especially if your kids, like mine, have a tendency to give up a bit too easily.  The media is full of articles about the "snowflake" generation. I don’t want my kids to be like that; I want them to be a bit tougher, a bit more robust, I want them to understand that failure is normal and nothing to be afraid of. And that success is not just about god given or genetic inherited talent. But social media in particular makes it much harder for them to understand that, for the simple fact is, social media is simply everyone's best edited highlights… very few people post up about their failures or their shitty week!

So my big aim for the summer is to get my kids to understand all of this….failure is nothing to be scared of, and that success requires hard work and effort.