Being a mom can be very confusing. It’s wonderful, awful, exhausting, and delightful, all at once. There are times when you love being a mom and moments when you might question why you ever wanted to have these little monsters in your life at all.
When you throw in holding down a job, it can easily be a recipe for burnout. If that happens then, no one will be happy, not you and not your family. So, here’s five tips to try and increase the ratio of good days.
#1 Make Time For Yourself
There is something that happens when you become a mom. You suddenly become the least important person in your own life. When you do try to take a moment for yourself, it’s like an alarm goes off, everyone in the house suddenly needs you, then the mom guilt kicks in and keeps you from saying no.
As one mom to another, I’m giving you permission to walk away from your family for a little while. Plan some time to be alone and do something that’s just for you. Your family is not going to fall apart without you for a couple of hours. Yes, you might return to a much bigger mess than you left, but you’ll be in a better mental space to deal with it.
You need to remind yourself that a happy mom raises happy children.
#2 Have Realistic Expectations
If you are an avid consumer of social media, just remind yourself that you can’t see the whole picture. You only see what they want you to.
How many pictures have you seen of moms rocking it and looking like they have everything under control? The ones with happy kids doing something educational in a spotless home, and mom freshly showered and made up. Next time you see one, I want you to know that there is probably vomit somewhere on that mom’s outfit. The kids will be sitting on the stains on the couch. The screens will have come out the moment the picture was taken. And that room is only tidy because all the mess is in another place.
Know that as a working mom, you are doing the best you can. Your home will not be spotless. Your kids will be on their devices more than you really want, and you might spend your weekend in your pajamas. As long as you show your kids love, keep them fed, and get your work done, you’re doing enough.
#3 Remember That Quality Time Really Is What Matters
As a working mom, there is always a tug between spending time with your kids, keeping your home clean, and getting your work done. With only so many hours in the day, you will not spend all of them with your kids.
Instead of worrying about the amount of time you spend with them, instead, make the most of it. Try to be present and really engage with them when you can.
I recommend doing something with no screens and no distractions. Going out for a walk can be a great way to bond and give everyone a breath of fresh air. When you have younger kids, a lightweight stroller can open the world up for going on adventures. You can just jump in the car with the family and the stroller, drive somewhere, and then explore as a family.
#4 Combine Family Time With Necessary Activities
One way to deal with needing to get things done and spending time with your kids is to bring them with you. Something like going grocery shopping might be a chore for you, but to kids, it’s just a chance to spend some time with mom.
If you have toddlers, you might want to find a nice shopping cart cover. This can make it more comfortable and fun for them to ride in the cart. Then you’re good to go. You can chat with your kids while you wander around the shops, sing songs, and just enjoy your time together.
Obviously, it will take longer than if you do it on your own. But, as you’re also spending some family time, efficiency around the supermarket aisles isn’t the most crucial consideration.
#5 Be Kind To Yourself
A lot of the moms I know are their own harshest critics. They hold themselves to impossible standards and get frustrated with themselves when they don’t meet them.
I’d like to suggest a little activity that you can do every day that only takes a few moments. Before you go to sleep, just remind yourself of all things you achieved, all the good moments, and all the wins. If you could see yourself the way your kids do, you’d feel a lot better about the job you’re doing.
Author Bio: Cristin Howard runs Smart Parent Advice, a site that provides parenting advice for moms and dads. Cristin writes about all of the different ups and downs of parenting, provides solutions to common challenges, and reviews products that parents need to purchase.